I’m sure you’ve been thru days when coffee seems like hot water even though it’s the strongest cup you’ve had in days!? But those days are still better, coz if you get your cuppa joe it means you got out of bed! Here’s a list of things to do (may seem very masochistic, umm…the title does say “easy” not “painless”!) on days when getting to the coffee seems impossible. (Disclaimer: The below mentioned experiments have been conducted by and on “experts” i.e. Me and Myself! Do not attempt these without consulting God..or the local newspaper dealer. Infact…DO NOT attempt, and if you do, don’t tell me!)

The first 3 are pretty much automatic, sleepyheads don’t need extra effort to pull these off. Read on…

Boink your head on the headboard of your bed
..or anywhere else is fine too, the impact is the same. i.e. imaginary birdies (or stars) circling over your head and the not-imaginary ‘ouchness’ that goes with it.

Stub your toes
Done this more than once. Somehow, my kitchen cabinet seems to move. No, really! why on earth would I walk into it so many times?! If your cabinet doesn’t have a mind of it’s own (take mine!) or use a wall. Looking down or keeping your eyes closed while walking is guaranteed to get you there.

Jam your fingers in the bathroom door
yaaaaaoooooooza! this, in my experience, is one of the most effective techniques, coz the throbbing black digits at the end of your quivering hand become a good reminder of the pain, and that ensures that you pay attention (code for ‘remain wide awake’) while closing the door…atleast for the next few days.

Pop a few wasabi peas
what are those? well…let’s just say that they look like this….

…and their taste will make you look like this…

Ok, now let’s move towards the slightly saner ones… actually there’s only one.

Solve a math puzzle
aaah, the bliss of being a geek 😉 (I wouldn’t know, coz I am not one..yet!) But if you’re a ‘droid like me, get the Math alarm clock app. It gives you the option of solving a math puzzle to dismiss the alarm. Some days you’ll hate you for being so mean to your poor little self, but it’s much nicer than making a blueberry out of your pinky!)

If all else fails, well…Zzzzz thru it all! Good day fellow Zombies!  😛