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So i m a part of the “post a week” thingie which means I have to publish a post every week. I was on track..until this week. When suddenly staring at this screen, I felt empty. Not empty in thoughts, but empty in words. Coz it was all crowded in my head, but not one single thought could come out right!

And then I thought.. is this what happens with people who can’t express themselves very well?  Like this conversation I had with a friend last night, about her not feeling loved or wanted coz her partner isn’t expressing it as much as she’d like him to or the way she’d like it. And she isn’t the only one, a lot of people who come to me for counseling seem to have this issue. So what does one do in a situation like this? how do you talk it out with someone who isn’t a “talker” to begin with!? Or in other words..get what seems ‘impossible’ from a situation that wasn’t really what you thought, to begin with!

Possible? Yes, actually.

The key is clarity and acceptance.

We ruin quite a bit in life by making silly assumptions. Asking questions might not get us the answers we want to hear, but they will definitely get us clarity.So, yea, even if either one of you isn’t a talker talk about your problems, atleast once. And once you know what the situation is really like, accepting it is the smart thing to do! If the situation cannot be changed, it’s best to accept it and work around it.

Push what can be pushed, but if you meet resistence, change your direction! That’s the only way to move forward.

And this doesn’t just apply to relationships with others…it applies to the most important relationship you’ll have for the longest time..the one with yourself! That’s what I did..asked questions to myself, got some not very nice and “I don’t agree with..” kinda answers, but as I allowed myself to be, things began to clear up. Just open the door..I did, I found my way through the storm in my mind and discovered that writing about not being able to write is actually a good thing. 🙂


If you do the right thing, but you do it for the wrong reason, does it count? The right thing here would be anything that is expected of you in that particular role in your life( things we are raised to believe are most important!) and the wrong reason would be doing it ONLY coz it’s expected of you, despite the fact that you don’t want to do it. Take a minute to think, how many things in your life fit into this category? 😉

So if you do it for the wrong reason, does it carry the same karmic ‘points’? By that I mean, does it have the same impact as an action done with complete congruence?

And if the reason matters, then have you taken a look at the reasons for all your actions, or atleast the ones you do most? Coz they end up defining your life..things like going to work, buying a house, entertaining relatives, being a good spouse, blah blah… it’s tricky too, coz we are so adept at fooling ourselves into believing that this is exactly what we wanted, so it’s perfect! But you know thats not true, when you find yourself wanting to want what you have…wondering when everything’s right, why do I feel like something’s missing?!

And If the ‘why’ doesn’t matter and you simply continue doing your duties and taking care of your responsibilities, does it make you happy? OR does it just keep you from feeling guilty, you know, helps you sleep at night? There’s a difference..a clear conscience doesn’t necessarily feed your soul. The soul craves joy! Of course, if we all went around doing things ONLY as and when we pleased, there would be chaos. So then, where does one draw the line? At what point do you stop doing the ‘right thing’ and start being happy?

Where did you draw the line?

 And sometimes… did you wish these two things were the same?

Come festival season and our inboxes are bombarded with wishes from all over the world! Some go “wish you and yours a very happy whatever!” While others are just “forwards” of colorful words strung together to make ’em look pretty! But in the crowd of these impersonal messages, when you receive a text that is an obvious “blanket” wish from someone you know well enough, how do you feel? Based on who the sender is:-

Do you think , “you sent me a BLANKET text!? hmm… so I’m as unimportant as the other 500 people you sent that very same text to…thx a lot!”
Or do you feel, “you sent ME a blanket TEXT, aww! It’s nice of you to have remembered me among 500 other people on your list!” (ok, we never really think that, but you know…we’re genuinely grateful!)
if you know of such a “blanket text” floating around that you didn’t get, do you feel left out?

Our responses to the above questions describe the way we live our lives. Coz it isn’t just about “compliments of the season” It’s about what we’ve trained our eyes to see! What our minds have been programmed to read decides what we notice in a situation…yes, the glass half full or half empty thing. But think about it, how happy we allow ourselves to feel depends largely on what we think we mean to someone. NOT on what we actually mean to them. Bottom line, it’s always our choice! Of course, I ain’t consistently unaffected by the initiatives or responses of others. But I do keep that influence to a minimum. And trust me, it’s worth it 🙂

With social networking making the world smaller, the number of people we connect with is growing! And it’s practically impossible to “accidentally” not forget to wish someone, so most of us choose the safest and quickest way :- Mass texting! Besides, it’s just a wish, right? So what’s the big deal?!

As for me….mail me, ping me, buzz me, text me…I don’t care…I’m happy you wished me anyway 😉

Ok, which one is it? Is it that when you open your mind, decide to allow things into your life…that your stars change? Or is it that coz your stars are aligned differently that you change your mind? Which one happens first?

I wouldn’t say I’m much of a believer in astrology, but I am open minded about most things in life. How can one know if it works, unless one tries it? So I think that if you are willing, the universe follows. Which kinda reminds me of a Jim Carrey movie called Yes Man.  It’s about a guy who says no to everything and then after attending a “Yes Seminar” with a motivational coach, decides to say yes to anything that comes his way. Exciting concept I think 😉

I say yes to everything too…with a few exceptions, of …letting my 2 year old niece drive 😛 But I guess I’m mostly a yes girl 🙂 because of which I’ve had so many awesome experiences! I dont know whether it’ll work out or not or what is there in store for me, but I’m always willing to try it. Having said that, it’s obvious that one is expected to say yes sensibly. You can’t possibly give away everything in your wallet (you can if you’re adventurous!) But the key is to go with your instincts. Unfortuately, more often than not our judgement is clouded by our so-called rational thinking. So pushing yourself a little, just a little beyond your comfort zone doesn’t hurt.

But a lot of people ask me how do you differentiate? Well here’s how :- If you’re contemplating doing something, close your eyes and breathe. Focus on the question at hand and ask it to yourself. The very first response that you get is from your gut. Do this twice or thrice at different times, coz your state of mind will vary, but your answer will be the same. After a while, you’ll just know! I ended up seeing the Taj Mahal on my birthday! A trip which seemed impossible to pull off coz it was planned at the last minute, literally, but only coz we said yes! Honestly, I don’t recall a single incident that I might have regretted coz of saying yes. Life is a buffet of opportunities and choices.And it’s amazing that when we expect wonderful things to happen, they actually do. All we have to do is say yes!

So, do you wanna try it?

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